Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Muppets & Recreation

My two favourite things currently are the amazing Muppets (which is a long standing love), and the just as amazing Parks & Recreation. I can't remember seeing a comedy so solid since Arrested Development. Amy Poehler is awesome. I was wondering what Parks & Recreation would look like if it was all muppets all the time, and this is what I came up with. 

The Cast f. Guest Star Chris Trager (played by Rob Lowe)

Leslie the Knope and Anne the Perkins:
Leslie is the organizer and keeps everyone's spirits up, 
even when all hope seems lost. 

Ron SwanSam:
because AMERICA.

Tom Gonzoford & Jean-Cluckio:
Tom and Jean-Cluckio are always hatching some sort of
scheme, attempting to get rich with their good natured (but
often misguided) entrepreneurial spirit. 

Miss Donna:
Diva, sass. Don't mess with her.

Andymal & April LudJane:
Andymal plays in a band and always means well. April rocks 
and loves Andymal very much. She's also his manager and the
best assistant Ron SwanSam ever had. 

Jerry the Bear:
Corny - everyone laughs at him instead of with him. 
Ugh, Jerry.

Scooter Wyatt:
The intelligent, nerdy auditor and the object of Leslie
the Knope's affections. He likes Game of Thrones & Batman. A lot.

I love this show.
R.





Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Twilihate.

So, I went to see the newest entry in the unintelligible Twilight series. Why? I'm not sure. Apparently I hate myself.



Bella (who still has only one facial expression) and Edward (the sparkly one) are getting married. Her parents are THRILLED with the idea.

Apparently, no parents in Stephanie Meyer's inane, messed up universe thinks it weird that an 18 year old girl is marrying a dead dude, and eventually turning into one. It's cool.

NOT COOL.


After finding out they're getting married, the wolf dude is pissed off about their love so he runs into the woods and stays there doing things for a while. No one cares.


At one point, Jacob and Edward argue with each other about how 'what happens on the honeymoon' might kill Bella. SHE IS STANDING RIGHT THE HELL THERE. Two overbearing stalkery dudes arguing about hypothetical futuresex? That my friends, is ROMANCE.


I've always wondered (no I haven't) where a vampire would go his honeymoon. Well, question: answered! Obviously somewhere where he can show off his true sparkle. Why not the sunniest place ever? RIO.

This is when things get messed up.


Bella ends up with bruises from her new hubby after their first night together because he's like, totally so strong? Edward apologizes for giving them to her, followed by HER apologizing for being so weak to incur them.

Yeah. I'll let you figure out what's wrong with that.


Edward then no longer apparently wants to touch her. So she has to chase after him like Pepe le Pew chasing after his cat, but less fun. Yep, a few days after getting married they're already bored of each other, now Stephanie Meyer and Kim Kardashian have something in common.


My theory is that Edward just realized some things about himself. It's cool, man. We all knew.



When Edward finally decides to touch her again, Bella gets insta-preggers. This is followed by Edward wondering 'how can this happen?!', freaking out and brooding more. Someone apparently had time to do everything during his life but learn where babies come from.


Then, a demon baby ends up eating Bella from the inside. This was the only character I could relate to, as I understood her motivations, and we both wanted the same thing.



Yes, while there's a seizure inducing scene where Edward performs a c-section with his fangs, my favourite part came right at the end when Jacob "imprints" (falls in love) with the baby.

A GROWN MAN, FALLS IN LOVE WITH A NEWBORN BABY. LEGITIMATE, I WILL MARRY YOU (hopefully when it's actually legal) LOVE.

EVERYONE IS OK WITH THIS.


I miss the days of real vampires. And actual characters like Buffy, who you know, DID things instead of just...sitting around waiting to be told what to do. Hopefully this doesn't influence what girls growing up today think of what dudes should be like.



Also, all I could think of for the entirety of the time that the wolf dudes were on screen was this:



I had a couple of thoughts while watching the film as well, much to the chagrin of the twitards sitting around me.

Screw Stephanie Meyer and this series. I'm done.

Monday, March 21, 2011

New York!

So, yes. It's been quite a while. I could go on with excuses as to why I haven't posted in forever, how it won't be this long til the next time, and how I'll try my best to update more frequently. But I won't ;) I've been having quite the adventure lately and I wanted to share some of the things I've learned along the way:

I'd often heard the rumor that New Yorker's were quite...ill-tempered, so this was what I imagined happening in the off chance (read: when) I got lost.

Nothing, however, could be further from the truth (I sincerely hope I'm not giving away a secret here...) New Yorkers are extremely, extremely nice and helpful. My theory is that it's due to so many non-natives, so everyone understands what it's like being new. Although, be wary of getting in their (our?) way during rush hour traffic on the subway.


The one thing I knew I'd miss about Toronto were the people. My friends, family and everyone I'd gotten accustomed to seeing week after week over the last year at our favourite karaoke spot and around town. But, I've met some amazing people and made some fantastic friends!

But, some things are in fact, irreplaceable.


One thing you always hear about New York is the dangerous amount of crime in the city. You do have to be aware of your surroundings, but there's no reason to be remotely as paranoid as I thought originally! It's actually one of the safest cities per capita in the US.


I'd heard about all these cockroach and bedbug infestations, and was not looking forward to dealing with these creatures. Luckily, I've only seen 2 with my friend Vadim...at a restaurant...that was REALLY good and had been open 27 years (the owner made a point of telling us this multiple times.).


Something I was looking forward to, as much as I love driving, was giving up my car. Being a driver, you hate pedestrians. Being a pedestrian, you hate drivers. In Toronto, I was both. But in NY I was looking forward to picking a side, so to speak. There was one minor thing I didn't forsee. Carrying big box items home on the subway.

Bumping into people in Toronto wasn't that uncanny as we all usually hung out in the same few areas. However, in New York, in a city of 8 million people - it is absolutely astounding that you can still bump into people you know anywhere, like in the middle of a crowded SoHo street.

I really thought I would miss Toronto a ton. There's a charm there that I thought no city could really capture. Til I got to New York. It has it's own wonderful charm. There's so much to see, do and explore, it's absolutely overwhelming and ridiculous. But, so far I've found some of my new favourite landmarks, restaurants, shops and parks.

There is nothing like just waking up, grabbing a bite and walking for literally hours trying to find the hidden corners and stores that are indicative of this city. Especially while being in a state of "everything is awesome and new all the time!"

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've drank the New York Kool Aid and well...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

More coffee!

My friend Rachel, who is awesome, knows how much I adore coffee. Last week, she invited me to a local Starbucks to try out their new flavoured instant coffees. How to win me over? Feed me bunches and cups and oodles of coffee with no end in sight. I then ended up heading to my life drawing class shortly thereafter. Needless to say, my hand coordination was ... less than stellar (read: jittery as hell)
More coming next week.

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Social Network


I was lucky enough to go check out a pre-screening of David Fincher's film, "The Social Network" which is more commonly known as "The Facebook Movie". Fincher has previously directed Se7en, Benjamin Button & Zodiac. The film is written by Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men, The West Wing).

The film was so preventative on piracy that they took our cellphones. To say the least, I felt somewhat uneasy about this, some might even say naked, but it was essentially akin to a coat check. We got them back without a hitch.
I'm usually more on the skeptical side of films. Especially ones based on seemingly plain subject matter, such as websites. The entire idea on the whole sounded preposterous to begin with. Let's just say that by the end of the film, I was left chewing on the remnants of my words.

There's something to be said for the fact that I've been experiencing a barrage of films as of late due to the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) and this was an absolute stand out film that wasn't even part of the competition.

The performance delivered by Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland, Zombieland) was extremely, extremely top notch. Up until this point, I'd considered him the 'poor man's Michael Cera'; as in, when Cera was unavailable, Eisenberg stepped in. Sometimes being unable to tell them apart in trailers.

Apparently I'm not the only one that has this problem. This is a picture caption from the Toronto Star from a couple weeks back. Notice anything ... odd? (hint: read the caption)

Yet, Jesse Eisnberg's choices of films to take definitely led me to believe that he could expand his acting scope, so I was on the lookout for something that would let him expand/explore a single character. His portrayal of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is really something to watch unfold.

It was refreshing seeing a well directed, well written, well paced film with great acting and above all, have it be incredibly entertaining as well. It also helps that we all walked out of the theater feeling like a million dollars.
But you know, as one of the characters in the film says, a million dollars isn't cool, a billion dollars is.
Aim high.

R.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

TIFF10:Anticipation & Excitement


If you know me, you know that I love watching films, in theaters or at home. So, this is a particularly exciting time of year in Toronto for film lovers as the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) is taking place. This is the second year that I'm partially attending TIFF. Last year I did a grand total of 3 films (Waking Sleeping Beauty, Micmacs & Up In The Air) and vowed to do more this year.
Sometime in August, I decided I should look into buying ticket packages. I had a list of must-see films and was looking through all the other films playing as well. I decided I would get the 25-30 film package.
As I clicked 'buy tickets' - an evil red screen of doom quashing my dreams to get the most out of the festival appeared. The packages were sold out.
Stunned, I read it over and over and vowed not to miss the day single tickets went on sale. I went through whatever measures I needed to.

The morning of the ticket sales, I woke up to my alarm and immediately hopped on my computer to buy the tickets I wanted.
The system was overloaded, making it akin to choosing electives in college. Sitting there I refreshed the page again, and again, and again...

...and again and again, and again, until I was about to abandon all hope, until finally...

SUCCESS! I ended up getting my top four film picks:

1) Sylvain Chomet's The Illusionist
2) Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan
3) Werner Herzog's Cave of Forgotten Dreams
4) Takashi Miike's 13 Assassins

and thanks to the generosity and awesomeness of two fantastic friends...

5) Danny Boyle's 127 Hours
6) Wuershan's The Butcher, The Chef & The Swordsman

I also plan on seeing Ben Affleck's "The Town" and saw Anton Corbijn's "The American" last week. Reviews coming for ALL of them.
This is going to be a busy little blog for the next little while!! Come back soon!